


The Avatar's Lover

by GreatestChange



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-07 22:52:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18882877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreatestChange/pseuds/GreatestChange
Summary: Asami's never been okay, but she's always been so good at hiding it from everyone—all except for one person that is.





	The Avatar's Lover

**Author's Note:**

> Did a poll on [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/greatestchange) and the winner was "Asami just wants alone time with Korra, but their responsibilities keep getting in the way."
> 
>  
> 
> ***Just disregard Turf Wars and Ruins of the Empire for this.**

“Mommy, can I have a Bender Blender?” a six-year old Asami Sato asked. She swung their hands back and forth between them as they walked up to the ice cream parlor. Her mother’s warm and tight grip made her feel safe; like even if the coldest of winters blew through Republic City, she’d never let go and lead Asami through a blinding storm. 

However, there was no storm detected in today’s forecast. It was beautiful outside, with not a cloud in sight. Kids and their parents played in the park nearby, while others laid out in the grass to soak up the sun. It was the perfect day.

Yasuko pinched her cheek. “We can have anything you want, ladybug.”

Asami beamed up at her and excitedly skipped ahead, letting go of her hand. “I want lots of sprinkles on top! And fudge, too!”

Nobody else stood in line, and a man behind the stand had his back turned, obscured by darkness.

“Excuse me, sir, can I have a Bender Blender, please?” she asked.

To her bewilderment, the man didn’t turn around or acknowledge her at all. He continued on with whatever he was doing by a cutting board, moving his arms in a mechanical way, though all of the instruments he needed were placed beside him in a neat line.

“Mommy, he’s ignoring me!” Asami complained and turned around, only to find a vacant spot where her mother should’ve been. She ran forward, looking around in panic, but she noticed how everything suddenly became abandoned. All of the parents and other children she saw before disappeared, and from out of nowhere the wind picked up, blowing hard against her and making her lose balance. She fought to stay on her feet, but then a shrill scream from the left made her look over. She saw her mother on the ground, hands in front of her as she pleaded with a man who had fire blazing out of his hands.

“Give me your watch, bag, and that ring on your finger!” he shouted down at her, inching closer with his burning hands.

“Please! Please!” Yasuko cried. “You can have whatever you want.”

“Mommy!” Asami yelled.

Yasuko turned her head, and Asami’s heart skipped a beat when she saw the utter look of fear in her mother’s eyes.

“Asami, no! Stay back!”

The man turned and looked at her as well. His wide, crazy eyes showed through the black mask that covered his face as he stared at her for several seconds. Then, he turned his body away from Yasuko to direct his full attention onto her.

“No!” Yasuko screamed and got up. Those same gentle and nourishing hands that held Asami’s before grabbed onto the fiery man’s shirt, pulling at him to stop.

Asami’s eyes widened in horror as a line of fire suddenly surrounded the man, and she blinked in fascination as that fire exploded from his hands and he engulfed her mother in flames. Her pain-filled scream made the birds erupt from the nearby trees and flap away from the oncoming danger. The only ones there to hear it now were the attacker, Asami, and the man still working with his back turned in the ice cream parlor. Asami ran up to it and banged her tiny hands on the counter to capture his attention.

“Sir, you have to help my mom!” she yelled at him, using all of the octave she had in that small voice of hers. “She’s on fire! Please!”

The man’s mechanical movements came to a stop, but he didn’t turn around right away, instead looking up at the blank wall ahead of him. When he finally turned around, Asami gasped.

“Dad?” she whispered. From behind her, she could still hear her mother screaming in agony.

“She’s in pain,” he told her in a quiet voice. “Do something about it.”

“I-I,” Asami stammered, unsure of what her father was suggesting.

“Join us, Asami,” Hiroshi said. He raised his gloved hand, showing it off as electricity surged out of it. “Help her.”

“Dad…” Asami stepped back, but even with that step, her father seemed closer than ever. “She’s dead. We can’t help her now.”

“Help her,” Hiroshi repeated. “Join us.”

“I can’t.” Asami shook her head. “I can’t, I can’t.”

Her father’s cool expression turned into a look of disappointment; then rage.

“Take the glove!” he screamed at her, making her jump. She turned away to run, only to bump into a hard surface that made her fall to the ground. Raising her head, she saw the same man who killed her mother dressed in dark clothing from head to toe, but there was a difference in his mask now, which changed from black to white. The red circle in the middle of his forehead caught Asami’s attention second, but then she finally noticed his dark eyes staring into her soul.

“You’ve failed her,” he said, and tilted his head in a pointed way toward Asami’s left.

Asami slowly looked over.

Two inches away from her, her mother’s charcoal body laid, contorted with hands raised in the air as a last effort of defense. Smoke rose off her as if she were a burnt meal, and nothing about her looked recognizable aside from her wedding ring that gleamed under the sun.

She screamed.

* * *

Asami jerked herself awake, breathing heavy as her entire body adjusted to the change of scenery; to what was real. Taking in her surroundings, she noticed the blue hues coming into the room, indicating that daylight wasn’t too far from now. It also meant that she hadn’t been asleep that long.

Once her body came out of shock, she instinctively reached beside her, only for her hand to fall flat against an empty spot. With a sigh, she brought her knees up to her chest and put her head against the soft, thick cloth that covered her. Her heart thudded loud inside her chest as she desperately tried to erase the images from her mind of the nightmare, as well as the smell of burning flesh in her nose.

Even though she was quite young when her mother died, she could still remember that day better than any other. She couldn’t do anything as she sat in the closet, hand covering her mouth, listening to what was happening inside her parents bedroom. Her mother sat helpless against the firebender who tried their best to break her, but she remained fearless in the face of death. To this day, Asami still wondered how.

She felt a cold draft in the room and shivered. Normally she liked sleeping with the windows open, but tonight it just gave her more chills.

Getting up from the bed, she put on her slippers and walked over to close the window doors, but then she paused to look at the view. She could hear the shores of Yue Bay swishing back and forth like a silent lullaby, and she could smell sage burning, indicating that the Acolytes were beginning to wake and start their day. Republic City stood tall in front of her, lit up from the magnificent yellow beam of light shooting up toward the sky.

Only a few months passed since Kuvira’s attack, and a lot of damage remained in the aftermath. People needed to get back on their feet after the near demolishment of the whole city, and Asami teamed up with Varrick and other big industrialists in the market to find a way to rebuild in a more time efficient manner. It kept her busy over the last few months, but she welcomed it. Working meant less time to think… or sleep.

The nightmares only first started happening after she’d returned from the Spirit World, but they didn’t happen that often. It was only in the past couple of weeks where they seemed to get worse.

She sighed and leaned her head against the frame of one of the windows. The everlasting glow of the spirit portal kept her entranced, calming her when she closed her eyes and thought about all of the magical things she experienced once crossing through it.

It was everything she hoped it would be and more. Being alone with Korra gave her peace and a brief pause from the material world. For the first time in a while, she felt happy, and there wasn’t a dull moment with Korra or anywhere they visited.

They got to meet hundreds of spirits, hike up the shallowest of mountains, and swim in the deepest of seas. Asami enjoyed it all, but none of it compared to finally being able to express their feelings to each other in a way that the battle and personal issues prevented them from doing since Korra’s return.

And during those nights where it was quiet and they laid underneath a large oak tree, looking up at all of the different patterns and colors in the sky, Korra’s hand would slip into Asami’s, and she spoke in a soft, gentle whisper:

_“I’m glad you’re here with me.”_

That one sentence changed the entirety of their relationship. Sure, they’d held hands and cuddled a lot, but it was then that Asami finally felt like she could let go and embrace the feelings she’d been harboring for Korra for years rather than be so afraid of them and the problems they might bring.

Tears welled up in her eyes. She wished her parents were here. There was so much that happened in her life, for the good and the bad. She wondered how proud her father would be that she got Future Industries to be one of the top trusted companies around the nation again. She wondered if she lived up to be the kind of woman her mother was: brave and unwavering. But most of all, she wondered what they’d think to see her so happy and in love with a beautiful woman who loved her back just as much.

After taking in a few deep breaths, she closed the windows and turned around. Taking one last look at Korra’s bed, she decided that she was better off doing something productive rather than tossing and turning for the next few hours. It didn’t surprise her that these nightmares became more reoccurring without Korra asleep beside her. Unfortunately the Avatar had business in Ba Sing Se at the moment, helping them transition out of their monarchial regime and also working on getting more metalbenders to come to the city and help with rebuilding. Two achingly long weeks passed since they last saw each other, but in one more week that would be over.

She walked across the room and turned on the lights, squinting a little at the brightness. Her sketchbook sat on top of the desk, already open from a few hours ago when she last worked inside it.

Sitting down in her chair, she got her pencils ready and cracked her neck in preparation to pick up from where she left off. In her mind, she believed that if she busied herself with too much, it would stop the dull pang in her chest.

* * *

Her foot wouldn’t stop tapping.

For the past few days she’d been hard at work, making detailed plans for the new roads being installed downtown. Zhu Li didn’t make it any easier by suggesting _more_ roadways on top of the ones that still needed to be fixed after they were destroyed in the battle. It meant that a lot of restructuring needed to be done, and she had no way at the moment to work around the demolished buildings that were currently under construction.

She sat on the steps at the main temple building, sketching and occasionally watching a few of the airbenders practicing their newly learned moves. Some of them struggled, but Jinora came to their aide, helping them to their feet and encouraging them to try again. Kai wasn’t too far away instructing someone else, and the two of them would sneak glances when the other thought they weren’t looking. Asami smiled at them both. Oh, how innocent young love could be.

She heard footsteps approaching from the right and looked over. Tenzin came from inside, looking out into the practice field with a stiff look plastered on his face. When Asami glanced over at the young teens again, Kai now stood on the other side of the area helping someone else while Jinora sent death glares over at her father.

Chuckling, she put her sketchbook to the side. “You know, I don’t think intimidating your daughter’s boyfriend is doing you any favors.”

“W-what?” Tenzin sputtered. “I wasn’t intimidating. I was merely surveying how the practice was coming along.”

Asami gave him a knowing look. “Trust me, Tenzin. This is coming from a woman who’s been with and dealt with an overbearing father who never thought anyone was good enough for his daughter. It gets old. Fast.”

Tenzin grumped and sat down beside her. “Pema told me the same thing. But it’s not easy to let your oldest daughter venture off into the dating world.”

Asami placed a hand on his shoulder. “Well, think of it this way. If you can let Jinora run off into the Spirit World and take down evil men who want to throw the world into total chaos and disharmony, letting her go out on a date with a boy who clearly adores her, in retrospect, should be a piece of cake.”

“Hm. I suppose you may have a point.”

For a few seconds they sat in silence, and Asami’s foot resumed its tapping.

“I imagine that these past few weeks have been hard for you,” Tenzin spoke again, looking down at her bouncing knee.

Asami let out a small laugh. “Was I being that obvious?”

“It’s understandable. Being the Avatar’s lover is a job in its own right. It can also get quite lonely.”

Asami felt her cheeks heating up and looked away. “I-I manage,” she stuttered.

It wasn’t an unknown fact that her and Korra were, in fact, a couple. But it never failed to trip her up, make her blush, and have her heart pounding loud in her ears at being called Korra’s girlfriend, or better yet “the Avatar’s lover.”

“Is this the longest you guys have been apart since being together?” Tenzin asked her.

“Yeah.” Asami nodded with a frown.

“I cannot say that it gets easier,” he told her. “Growing up as the son of the Avatar made me privy to how much he meant to the world and not just our family. The anxiety that came due to the separation proved to be one of our biggest challenges.”

At that, Asami’s heart sank in her chest. This definitely wasn’t a discussion she wanted to have right now, or ever.

“I know that must’ve been really hard for you guys,” she ended up saying.

“Have you and Korra talked about this yet?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think either of us are ready to.”

“Well, if I can offer only one piece of advice, it’s to be—”

“Patient?” Asami guessed.

Tenzin cracked a smile. “What I was going to say is: be prepared.”

“Mm.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you two make a wonderful pair,” he admitted, albeit with an awkward cough. “I’ve never seen her happier than when she is in your company, so I can only guess that being away from you has been just as hard for her, too.”

Asami smiled. “Thank you, Tenzin. That means a lot.”

The airbending master smiled back and then looked up at the sky.

“Ah, and what perfect timing. She’s back.”

Asami looked up so fast that her neck cracked. She noticed the flying bison descending from the air. All of the airbenders looked up in unison and then quickly moved to the side, allowing the snotty-nosed bison to make its landing.

“Whoa! Easy, Pepper!”

Opal’s voice could be heard loud and clear. She sat on top of Pepper’s head, hands gripping the reins for dear life as they made a not so clean landing, causing a large amount of dust to rise off the ground.

Asami looked away as a gust of wind blew in her face, as did Tenzin.

“She really needs to work on that,” he muttered and got up.

Asami nodded in agreement.

“Hey, guys! We’re back!” Opal said.

All of the airbenders, including Tenzin, crowded around Pepper and said their hellos to Opal as she hopped off the animal and landed gracefully on her feet. She got pulled into a hug by Jinora, and then Kai.

Asami’s palms began to sweat. She remembered to cover the dark circles underneath her eyes, right? Korra could somehow always tell when she wasn’t sleeping properly. And should she have brought something? Like a gift? It only just occurred to her that it would have been a good idea after spending so much time apart for the first time. Great. Now she was a sleep-deprived, negligent girlfriend.

Her racing thoughts came to a halt when she finally saw Korra, who stood up and stretched out her legs after sitting for so long and waved down at everyone there to greet her. She was dressed in her usual water tribe get-up, her hair swaying as the wind blew gently against her face. Over the past few months it grew passed her neck and just above her shoulders.

Asami still sat on the entryway to the temple. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything but watch and take in the moment while she still went unnoticed. Her heartbeat quickened seeing that vibrant smile of Korra’s as she grabbed her pack and got down from Pepper. The moment her feet hit the ground, everyone surrounded her, all speaking at once. Korra laughed in good nature and told them all to calm down, but the sparkling amusement in her eyes showed just how much she enjoyed the warm welcoming.

She looked beautiful.

Asami bit her lip and tried to force herself to relax; to get her heart rate under control before she walked over there and threw herself onto the Avatar while telling everyone else to buzz off.

Taking in a deep breath, she finally stood, wiping off the non-existent dirt on her skirt.

Korra must’ve felt her eyes, because she looked away from all of the commotion surrounding her and immediately found Asami. And if she hadn’t already looked happy before, it definitely showed now. In that one expression held a look of surprise, excitement, and pure joy. It made Asami feel like the warmth inside her returned, though she never noticed it left to begin with. Her fingers and toes unthawed, sending tingles up her body, and she could finally _breathe._

Those feelings encouraged her to take that first step forward...

“LOOK! KORRA AND OPAL ARE HOME!”

Another large gust of wind flew by Asami in different directions this time, making her hair fly into her face and causing her clothing to become disheveled.

Ikki, Meelo, and little Rohan, who had all been inside, sped right passed her and ran to Korra, pouncing on her excitedly and hugging at her legs and arms.

“Korra, we missed you!” Ikki proclaimed loudly, and then it all turned to gibberish because she started speaking so fast that her words became indecipherable.

Asami frowned, disappointed that the small moment between them all but disappeared, but nonetheless, she fixed her clothes and hair and walked over anyway. Ikki continued to talk a mile a minute as Korra smiled and nodded along at everything, even though she didn’t understand.

“All right, Ikki,” Tenzin interjected. He grabbed Rohan—who was currently using Korra as if she were a tree—and placed him on top of his shoulders. “Maybe you can share that story another time. I’m sure Korra is very tired from her journey.”

“Aww.” Ikki poked out her bottom lip.

Korra laughed and placed a hand on the child’s head. “Don’t worry, you can tell me all about it tomorrow.”

Ikki’s face lit up again and she nodded in earnest. “Okay!”

Asami couldn’t help but smile at the sweet exchange. Korra was always so great with kids.

“Hey, everyone!” Pema’s voice made them all turn in her direction, toward the temple. “Dinner should be ready soon. Get washed up! Oh, and hello Korra and Opal. Glad you made it back safely.”

There were a couple of _woops!_ and hollers at the news. The group of airbenders dispersed as quick as they came together, leaving only Asami, Korra, and Tenzin with Rohan on his head.

“I’m pretty sure that was one of the most exciting greetings I’ve ever received,” Korra said with a laugh.

Tenzin smiled. “Plenty of people will be glad to know you’re back in Republic City.”

“Maybe once I see the latest update on those approval ratings, I’ll believe you.”

“Well, all of _us_ are happy to see you, and that’s all that matters right now.”

“Yeah...” Korra rubbed the back of her neck and smiled at him, then she turned her eyes to Asami for the second time. “I’m happy to see you guys, too,” she said.

Asami bit her lip again and glanced downward, embarrassed by the intensity of Korra’s stare.

Tenzin cleared his throat. “I’d better get this little one inside,” he said, pointing up at Rohan, who’d been beating on his head like a drum. “Will you guys be staying here for dinner or did you have something else planned?”

“Oh, uh...” Korra looked back at Asami. “Are you okay with that?”

Asami played it cool and nodded. “Yeah.”

“All right. I will see you both in a few minutes then," Tenzin said. "I also expect you to give me a full report on how the trip went.”

Korra gave him a mock salute. “Sir, yes, sir!”

Tenzin nodded and walked away, finally leaving the both of them alone outside. For a few seconds they only stared at each other with soft smiles on their faces, but after going so long without hearing Korra’s voice, Asami couldn’t withstand any more silence between them.

“Hi,” she spoke, stepping forward.

Korra sighed and reached for her hand.

“Hey,” she replied.

Asami’s smile turned into a grin and she pulled her girlfriend forward and into a tight hug. Instantly, she felt relieved; as if the last few weeks hadn’t been some of the hardest. Now that she had Korra in her arms, everything else became irrelevant.

“I missed you so much,” she admitted, burying her face in Korra’s neck.

“I missed you, too,” Korra replied and tightened her embrace. "You have no idea.”

“Oh, I think I do.”

They held on for another moment before pulling back, only to lean forward and meet each other's lips...

“OPAAAAAL!”

Korra’s face turned and Asami’s lips awkwardly met her cheek. She groaned and pulled away, then looked over and saw Bolin running up the steps to reach the top of the island, sweating and out of breath. He held a bouquet of pink roses in his hands and paused to gather his bearings. When he saw just the two of them standing outside, his eyes widened in realization that he just interrupted something.

“Oh, uh, hey guys!” he said, scratching behind his head. “Sorry. I didn’t know it was just you guys out here… alone.”

Korra pulled away from Asami, but not before giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. “Hey, Bo. It’s been a while.”

The awkwardness left Bolin completely and he walked up and pulled Korra into a strong hug.

“More like it’s been forever!” he exaggerated and pulled back to give her a playful glare. “As if you didn’t already have one beautiful girlfriend, you just had to go and steal mine, too!”

“What can I say? I’m good with the ladies.” Korra wiggled her eyebrows and nudged Asami in the side. “Especially the most beautiful ones.”

Asami rolled her eyes and nudged Korra back.

“Well, aren’t you two just the cutest?” Bolin said, a look of genuine adoration in his eyes.

When Asami and Korra first announced they were a couple, he was the very first person to congratulate the two of them, picking them both up at the same time to crush them in a hug. All he offered was support and expressed his happiness about them being in a relationship. A lot of people did as well, which put both of their minds at ease. The only person who still seemed awkward about it was their ex-boyfriend, but since he hadn’t been showing up much as of late due to work, neither of them gave it much thought.

“Bolin!”

They all looked over and saw Opal running out of the temple.

“Opal!” Bolin shouted in excitement, his eyes lighting up.

“I knew I heard your voice.”

Asami watched as the two of them forgot about anything else except each other. Bolin ran over to his girlfriend, picking her up and spinning her around while Opal’s heartwarming laugh rang out. Once he put her down, he handed over the flowers he bought for her, which she took with enthusiasm.

Asami felt a twinge of jealousy when the pair leaned in and kissed each other. However, it went as quickly as it came when she felt a hand slide into hers and she looked over at Korra. Her girlfriend seemed to have read her mind and gave her a smile filled with mischief, but also a promise of something. It made her stomach flip in a thousand different ways.

When the passionate moment between Opal and Bolin went on a little too long, Korra let out a small cough, which made the both of them pull apart.

“Oh! We’re sorry, guys!” Opal blushed and bowed her head in apology.

Asami smirked. “That’s okay. We’re just glad Bolin got the confirmation he needed that Korra didn’t, in fact, sweep you off your feet these last couple of weeks.”

Opal looked at her in confusion and then to Bolin. “Huh?”

“Uhhh,” Bolin stammered. Watching him struggle for an explanation made Asami and Korra burst into laughter.  

It felt so good to hold Korra’s hand again and have these lighthearted moments. Asami couldn’t remember the last time she felt so relaxed and like herself. That wasn’t to say that she became incapable of that without Korra at her side, but these past few weeks hadn’t been easy with the nightmares and stress of rebuilding a city.

“Well, I guess we should head inside,” Korra suggested.

“Actually, I kind of already made some special dinner plans for just Opal and I,” Bolin said. He placed an arm over his girlfriend’s shoulder and looked at her. “If that’s okay with you?”

Opal’s eyes brightened. “That’s more than okay.”

The two said their goodbyes and ran off, leaving Korra and Asami alone again.

“That was nice of him to do that for her,” Korra commented.

“Yeah…” Asami looked down, suddenly feeling insecure.

“Hey.” Korra tugged at her hand. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m a terrible girlfriend.”

“Huh?”

“Bolin brought flowers and gave Opal a surprise date. All I did was show up with my sketchbook. You’ve been gone for weeks and I should’ve gotten you something.”

She rubbed her face in frustration at herself for how inadequate she was being when it came to their relationship. She busied herself so much with work to deflect from other things, but that meant forgetting about her girlfriend’s happiness in the process.

Korra’s face relaxed, and a tiny smile appeared at the corner of her lips. “You didn’t need to get me anything.”

“But I should have,” Asami stubbornly argued.

Korra put her hands on either side of Asami’s arms and rubbed at them.

“I don’t know if you saw my face correctly when I first saw you, but the fact that you even showed up for something as small as me coming home was enough for me,” she spoke quietly.

Asami almost couldn’t bring herself to meet those honest, blue eyes. It was too much for her, and she felt so emotional having so much love for just this one person. How was that even possible?

“Of course I showed up,” she murmured. “You coming back home isn’t a small thing for me.”

Korra’s hands slid down and reached for Asami’s own, clasping them together. “And that’s exactly the reason why a silly gift won’t matter to me when I have _you._ ”

Instead of replying, Asami went right back into Korra’s arms, wrapping hers around Korra’s neck in the process. Korra held her back in a firm hold, her strong arms tightening around Asami’s waist.

“And I don’t think I mentioned it before, but you look really pretty,” Korra whispered in her ear.

Asami squeezed her eyes shut and laughed, all while hugging the Avatar even harder.

“You’re looking pretty snazzy yourself.”

She felt Korra shaking in her arms from laughing.

“You’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

“As long as we’re together, no.”

“Well, I guess I’d better prepare myself then.” Korra pulled away so that their eyes could meet. “Because I plan on being with you for a _very_ long time.”

Asami brushed the bangs out of Korra’s face.

“I’m counting on that,” she whispered.

Their faces inched closer together until they finally shared the long-awaited kiss Asami had been wanting to plant on Korra the minute she hopped off that bison.

* * *

After getting cleaned up, everyone sat cross-legged at the dinner table, digging into the wonderful meal Pema and some of the other Air Acolytes prepared. As they ate, Korra informed them all about her trip to the Earth Kingdom and updated them on the progress happening… or well, lack thereof.

“It’s a mess,” Korra stated in exhaust. “People are starving, there are riots on the streets almost every day, and don’t get me started on the amount of robberies reported in one day alone.”

“That’s so awful,” said Jinora. “Can anything even be done at this point?”

“We’ll see if Wu’s plan for creating a democracy and separating the Kingdom into states does anything, but so far the reaction to it has been pretty mixed. Some are all for it, while others think that big of a change will ruin the Earth Kingdom for good.”

“I’m willing to bet those people are from the older generation,” Jinora said. “They’ve lived so long under a single ruler that they don’t know how to be without one, or that they have other options.”

“Who in the world would they want to take on that mantle anyway?” Kai asked.

“If some people had it their way: Kuvira,” said Tenzin.

Asami glanced up at the name and then looked across the table at Korra, who’d already been eyeing her.

“I can’t believe there are people out there still worshiping the ground she walks on,” Jinora said with the roll of her eyes. “She hurt so many innocent people and nearly destroyed our city! Not to mention the Earth Kingdom as a whole with her tyranny.”

“She also killed my father,” Asami pointed out while picking up some of her noodles with her chopsticks and letting them slap back down into the bowl. She noticed how the table quieted after her statement but chose not to acknowledge it.

“Well, despite whatever protests or anger some still have about her arrest, she’ll be answering to all of the crimes she committed soon,” Korra said. “She’s taken responsibility and her followers will just have to get over it.”

“And what if they don’t?” Asami asked, looking up at her. “Just because she’s locked away in a jail it doesn’t change the way people have felt since the Earth Queen died. Kuvira’s only made matters worse. She’s the reason why things are so messed up right now, and her owning up to it isn’t going to help the people whose lives she’s affected or destroyed.”

“I-I didn’t say it would,” Korra said, sounding surprised by Asami’s shift in tone.

Once Asami realized how defensive she sounded, she leaned away from the table, though she continued to poke at her noodles. For several seconds, the only sound in the room came from utensils clinking against dishes.

Jinora cleared her throat. “Hey, Korra, after dinner I need to show you something I found in Dad’s study. Or well, Kai and I found it.” She turned to her boyfriend and gave him a smile.

“What is it?” Korra asked.

“A diary by an Air Nomad from 300 BG. She grew up with Avatar Yangchen and became the senior nun. Also, she was totally in love with her.”

“Really?” Korra’s eyes grew and she leaned in closer to Jinora on her left. “Anything super scandalous in there?”

“You’ll just have to seeee.”

“Jinora,” Tenzin said in that chastising voice of his. “What did I tell you before about using the sacred texts of our ancestors for meager gossip?”

“It’s not gossip, Dad,” Jinora said with a groan. “It’s something that happened within our history and she left it behind for us to read. I believe she’d want us to talk about it.”

“I agree,” Korra said with a little too much eagerness. She looked at Asami expectantly. “Isn’t that great?”

“Fantastic,” Asami replied in an artificial tone. Glancing up, she saw Korra’s eyebrows knit together in uncertainty at her sudden moodiness.

“But Korra!” Meelo whined from where he sat beside Asami. “You said you’d help me with mastering my air blading.”

“It takes more than one day for that, little guy. How about I help you tomorrow morning?” Korra suggested.

“Well, not tomorrow morning,” Tenzin corrected. “You have that press conference that Zhu Li wanted you to be present for.”

“Ah, yeah,” Korra said and then looked over at Meelo. “Tomorrow afternoon then?”

“Actually, I thought you’d go down to the camp with me and speak to a couple of hundred evacuees still left,” said Jinora. “They’re growing impatient again and they’d like for you to answer some questions they have.”

“Of course,” Korra nodded in understanding. “How about the day after that then? Sound cool with you, Meelo?”

“Yeah!” he said in excitement.

"And don't forget that you promised to hear the rest of my story!" Ikki reminded her. 

"You wouldn't make me forget that even if I wanted to," Korra said with a laugh. A few other chuckles went around the table as well.  

“Oh, and Korra, Mako stopped by the other day. Lin wants to speak with you about this whole triad business,” Tenzin said. “She’s hoping the conversation can happen before issuing out a statement to the public at the reopening of the east wing of the Police Department.”

“Oh yeah, that is coming up, isn’t it?”

“Four days from now, yes. As well as the dinner they’re having afterward in celebration.”

“Right,” Korra said, looking up in thought, then her eyes shifted to Asami. “You’re going with me to that, right?”

Asami’s brain still spun on an axis at all of the sudden plans being made without even a pause in conversation. She knew the confusion showed in her eyes as she stared back at Korra.

“Sure, I guess?”

“Wow, Korra, you’re quite the busy one,” said Pema. “Will you even have a chance to sit down before heading to the Fire Nation next week?”

“Wait, what?” Asami interrupted, looking between Korra and Pema. “That’s next week?”

“Yeah,” Korra said, this time giving her a confused look. “I told you about it, didn’t I?”

“Well yeah, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon after your trip from Ba Sing Se. I mean, you just got back and all…”

“It’ll only be for a few days this time,” Korra told her. “Then after that I’ll be home for two whole weeks before I have to check in on the Earth Kingdom again.”

“Wow. _Two_ whole weeks. A miracle,” Asami muttered in an icy tone, but the silence that followed it made her look up. Everyone sat around awkwardly, none of them looking at her except for Korra and Tenzin. The latter giving her sympathetic eyes. Picking up a napkin, she wiped at her mouth, then pushed the bowl of noodles away from her. “The dinner was delicious, Pema, but I’m pretty tired, so I think I’ll head to bed early. Excuse me.”

She got up from the table and walked out of the room, her hands shaking at her sides out of embarrassment and anger at herself. Her sudden change of attitude from when Korra arrived to now surprised even herself. She didn’t mean to snap like that, especially in such a public setting, but hearing Kuvira’s name still sparked instant rage inside of her. Then learning about Korra’s plans on top of that and finding out that she was only in Republic City for a week sent her spinning off the rails. That would’ve meant that she only got, in total, a week in the past month with her girlfriend—if that considering how busy she would be before leaving again.

Her brief conversation with Tenzin from earlier came to mind and she felt so disappointed in herself. This right here was the hard part of being in a relationship with the Avatar, and right now she showed her inability to keep it together. As much as she prided herself on being a patient, understanding person, she failed at something so basic that the other generations of the Avatar’s lovers were turning in their graves.

Instead of going to her own room, she went to Korra’s and threw herself on top of the bed, not caring at all about how wrinkled the sheets would get. She spent so much of her time in there anyway.

Going back to the dinner table would’ve just made her look like a crazy person, so for now she’d just sulk by herself until the humiliation died down.

Was it an overreaction? Sure. But it didn’t mean her feelings weren’t justifiable. She hadn’t seen her girlfriend in weeks and expected to have at least a few days of alone time together before they were both thrust back out into the real world and all of the issues that came along with it.

Just then, the door opened and closed quietly. She had her back turned and faced the wall, but she listened to Korra’s footsteps as she made her way over to the bed and climbed on top to lie down beside her. Neither of them spoke for a while, but the urge to want to say something lingered between them. Then Korra finally did.

“I personally felt that the noodles were a little too spicy,” she said. “Is it me or do they come out with a hotter sauce every single year? It’s like a competition now and I’m gonna be drowning myself in water by the end of it.”

Asami smiled for a second at Korra’s attempt to lighten the mood, but then, with a sigh, she brought her hand under her face and rested her cheek against it.

“Can I be honest with you about something? No filter and without any judgment?” she asked.

She felt Korra shift on the bed and place a hand on her hip.

“You can be honest with me about anything,” she spoke against Asami's ear, her voice layered deep with sincerity.

Asami shivered but took in another deep breath and released it.

“I miss the Spirit World,” she admitted. “I miss the fields and the sky, and the water, and being kicked off of living rocks. I miss being with you and just you. I wish we didn’t have to be around people 24/7 and got to live the lives we’ve both been deprived of without feeling weighed down with responsibility. Sometimes I think about what life would be like if we were both different people who were normal and didn’t have to handle everything all the time, especially when so many people are apparently ungrateful about us saving their lives from a crazy lady with a complex.”

She closed her eyes when she finished, squeezing them shut as all of those thoughts came rushing out of her mouth before she forced herself from saying them. But now that they were out, she felt a twinge of guilt and shame.

“Wow. You’ve been holding that one in for a while, huh?” Korra said, sounding slightly amused.

“Not really. I never felt that way about it until these past few weeks. It’s just been a long month, I guess.”

“I know it has,” Korra said. She wrapped her arm around Asami’s waist and pulled their bodies closer, then she kissed Asami’s shoulder. “That felt good to get out, though, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Asami cracked a smile, but then she turned serious again. “I’m sorry about dinner. I was rude and I already plan on apologizing to everyone tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Korra told her. “I know how much of a delicate subject Kuvira is to you.”

“Yeah…” Asami ran her fingers up and down the length of Korra’s arm in a soft and slow manner. “I still shouldn’t have blown up like that. I know what you were saying and I just took it to a place it didn’t need to go.”

“You’re sleep-deprived,” Korra said. “I can tell from your face how much you’ve been working lately. It makes sense why you’d blow up like that. Plus, I should’ve gone over the schedule to make sure we were on the same page about what was happening.”

“It’s not even that. I just… I really wanted to be alone with you for a little while, but it feels like we won’t even get that.”

“We will.” Korra touched her on the shoulder, but Asami still didn’t turn around. “Just give it another few weeks and I’m all yours. Promise.”

Asami’s mouth trembled and she fought the urge to burst into tears. She couldn’t even speak because she was afraid of choking up.

“Asami, hey,” Korra murmured and then forced her to turn around. When their faces met and Korra saw the tears in her eyes, a growing look of concern swept across her face. “What is it?”

“I can’t,” Asami started, but a knot formed in her throat and she wiped at one of the tears that fell freely from her eyes. “I can’t sleep without you anymore.”

Korra’s look turned into realization.

“Asami…” she said and then pulled her in close again. Asami held her back and buried her face in the crook of Korra’s neck, inhaling her scent. She took a few minutes to just breathe in and out and calm down. Meanwhile, Korra held her in silence, running her fingers through her hair. They stayed that way for several minutes before Korra asked, “Are you having those dreams again?”

Asami sighed into her girlfriend's neck and clutched her shirt while nodding.

“Yeah,” she confirmed. “I had one a few days ago.”

“Which one was it?”

“The one where my mom and I are at the ice cream parlor.”

Korra nodded against her in understanding and gave her a squeeze around the waist. “That’s the one you hate the most, isn’t it?”

“No. It’s the other one where Amon turns into my mom.”

“…I can see why you’d find that a little freaky,” Korra said.

“What do you think it means?” Asami asked her quietly. “Do you think somewhere deep down I’m an equalist sympathizer or something?”

“Do _you_ think that?” Korra asked.

“No,” Asami said and nuzzled her head under Korra’s chin. “Just the idea of it makes me sick.”

“Then we know it’s not that,” Korra said with finality.

“Well, feel free to give me some ideas about what you think it might be."

Korra continued to stroke her fingers through Asami's hair as she thought about it, but after a while she stopped. 

“I think it means that you lost both of your parents suddenly and tragically. You blame yourself for not being strong enough to help your mother, and you wish you could’ve seen the signs with your father that he was going down a dark path so that you could’ve saved him from himself. I think you’re harboring some major guilt that you haven’t dealt with yet because you haven’t been able to.”

Asami listened to all of this while keeping so perfectly still in Korra’s arms. She hadn’t been oblivious to any of the things Korra mentioned, but for a long time she just couldn’t bring herself to face it. However, since her father's demise, it haunted her every single night to the point that she couldn't ignore it anymore.

“I think that maybe you’re right,” she whispered.

“We should go see someone who can help with this,” Korra suggested. “I know when Lin went to see that acupuncturist, she slept for almost twenty hours.”

“I wouldn’t want you wasting your time with this,” Asami said with a sniff. “It’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not, and I don’t mind. Besides, it’s something that the both of us can do together. You’re not the only one with nightmares, remember?”

Asami pulled back to look at her with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry. That was an insensitive thing for me to say.”

“That’s not the reason why I said that,” Korra told her. She brushed the back of her hand against Asami’s cheek and leaned over her. “You took care of me for weeks after I was poisoned and before I left Republic City. I remember all of the nights you stayed up with me or climbed in my bed when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night. So what I’m saying is that I don’t want you to think that what you’re going through doesn’t matter or that it’s minuscule to everything else. You shouldn’t have to keep yourself awake to avoid sleeping at night, and I’m not going to let you.”

Asami stared up at her lover, and for the first time, she noticed the bags under her eyes, too. Reaching up, she rubbed her thumb against Korra’s cheek.

“You’re one to talk,” she said with a small smile.

Korra smiled back. “Yeah, well, I don’t sleep that well without you, either.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I stayed up and couldn't even close my eyes the first few nights I was away. It reminded me of when I went back home to get healed. The dreams just got worse when you weren't around. Katara had to give me this sleep aid remedy for months because of how bad it got.”

“You never told me that before. Not even in our letters,” Asami said. She placed her hand on Korra's chest, right over her heart, and felt its strong beating beneath her fingers.

“I didn't want you to worry about me.”

“I worried about you every single day. I still do.”

“I’m right here,” Korra said.

“Yeah, but sometimes you’re not, and I can’t always be there with you.”

“The same goes both ways. It drives crazy whenever there’s danger and I have no idea where you are. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

Asami hummed and played with Korra's shirt. “We’ve ruined each other,” she said jokingly.

Korra laughed. “If this is what being ruined means, then I don’t want to be fixed.”

“Wow, Korra. How poetic of you.”

Korra brushed a piece of hair behind Asami’s ear, then she lowered her hand until it came underneath Asami’s chin and lifted it.

“Be here with me now,” she whispered and leaned down.

When Asami closed her eyes, she felt Korra’s lips brush against hers softly until pressing them together like a lock going into place. Asami used her hand to cup the Avatar’s face and the other to rest against her hip. All of the tension, anger, stress and fear left her body at once as the kiss deepened. Korra pried her lips open to slip her tongue inside and explore. It was so slow and sensual that Asami let out a quiet moan. She wrapped her leg around Korra’s waist, bringing their fronts together and forcing Korra to roll her hips. Her insides turned to jelly at hearing Korra whimper.

When they finally pulled apart, she kept her eyes closed and shuddered as Korra continued to move against her.

“Come with me next week,” she heard her say in an impassioned voice, panting from her arousal and their heavy makeout session.

“I can’t,” Asami voiced with regret. “They’re installing this tunnel downtown for the expansion of the new railroad track—ah—and I have to oversee it. If they’re so much as an inch off, it’ll be a disaster— _oh._ ”

Korra’s lips found purchase at Asami’s neck. She licked and sucked there for a solid minute until she was satisfied. When she finished, she brought their foreheads together.

“Can I be honest with you now? No judgments or filter?”

“Of course,” Asami said.

Korra exhaled and finally stopped her movements, making Asami groan in disappointment. When she opened her eyes, she noticed the look of hesitation on Korra's face, but there was also that little bit of vulnerability there that she rarely liked to show.

“As much as I love being the Avatar, I’ve never hated being needed everywhere as much as I do right now—in this moment. Having all of this responsibility can be a lot, and now that I'm with you and at peace with myself, sometimes I wonder why I ever wanted to be the Avatar to begin with.”

Asami nodded and rubbed Korra’s back in a reassuring way. “But you wanting to be needed is what makes you such a good person, and a good Avatar. I wouldn’t ever want that to change about you. And I know I didn’t really show it tonight, but I really am so proud of you and everything you’re doing for the world.”

She watched Korra smile and open her eyes. “I know you are. Thank you.”

“But can we just have one day by ourselves in these next couple of days before you leave again?” Asami pleaded. 

“Of course. I already had something planned for us anyway.”

“Really?” she perked up, and when Korra nodded, she grinned. “What is it?”

“It’s a secret, but I will say that you’ll need your winter coat and some good boots.”

“You’re taking me to see the southern or northern lights?”

Korra’s mouth dropped open. “You figured that out by just a hint?”

“That was supposed to be a hint?”

Korra smiled widely and then started attacking her with kisses. “Why do you have to be so freakin’ smart all the time?”

Asami laughed out loud when fingers started tickling up her sides. “You made it so obvious,” she said between breaths.

“Yeah, well you still don’t know where I’m taking you to see them, so I guess that’ll be the real surprise.”

Asami’s eyes brightened. “Some place high, maybe? Like that large hill we climbed up that gave us the perfect view of the Spirit World?”

“Yes.” Korra gave her another chaste kiss on the lips. “But way better than that.”

Asami pulled her down for another kiss, longer this time and felt Korra’s laughter from above.

A sudden knock came to the door, forcing them apart.

“Yeah?” Korra called out as she sat up on the bed and fixed herself.

The door opened and Jinora poked her head in.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt,” she said, blushing once she saw the two of them.

“It’s all right. Did you need something?” Korra asked.

“Actually, yeah. I was hoping to grab you for a quick inquiry about this new order I’d like to propose to Zhu Li about the evacuee crisis.”

“I'll be right there.”

Jinora nodded at the both of them and left the room.

Korra turned back to Asami with a look of guilt. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Go ahead,” Asami said.

Korra leaned forward and kissed her cheek before getting up and slipping on her house shoes. Watching her about to walk out of the door made Asami sit up.

“Korra,” she called out.

“Yeah?” Korra turned back around, a calm but pleasant look on her face.

Asami breathed out and then smiled. “I love you.”

Korra’s face softened and she smiled back. “I love you, too,” she said. And just as she was about to turn around again, she stopped herself and looked at Asami with a longing gaze. “Don’t fall asleep without me, okay?”

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” Asami said.

With one last smile, Korra walked out of the room.

Asami fell back down onto the bed and looked up at the ceiling. The smile on her face remained, because for the first time in weeks, she didn’t fear the idea of closing her eyes.


End file.
